Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Busy with personal things today.

I've decided I'm moving jobs this year and to this end I have been updating my CV to reflect my skills and experience. I understand CV, Curriculum Vitae, means 'course of life' so I put in everything from my advanced birth channel escape techniques to my current birth channel entry requests.

From what I can understand I have to keep it to two pages so I have a way to go. It was about ten when I started but that included the pages of my primary school achievements through secondary school plus the time I was in the boy scouts, the badges I achieved and the fact I was kicked out for violence. Finally off to further education, alcohol limits, speeding offences plus top speeds I have achieved in a car and a bike, ladies and, oh yes, the resulting educational achievements. I include my sexual fetishes as that takes up another two pages. It's the diagrams I had to include you see. Most people don't understand. I've been told I should really remove most of that and just concentrate on real life work experience so I envisage that I may have to use big type and lots of white space if I am to make two pages.

The format of these things seems to change every time I'm looking for a job. The new formats are totally different to mine and I can see it will take me a while to reformat.

So anyone got any decent jobs out there?


At 5:05 am, Blogger Semaj Mahgih said...

This is my area, Bag - CVs. Yes, two pages but don't be tempted to reduce the font - cut out all personal pronouns and do it more in summary form, have a skills section up front and the rest reverse chronological. Near the end of the second page, reduce the font and summarize the experience, referring to anotehr doc for greater detail. Have the other doc handy but not part of the main CV. Don't go to glossy.

At 9:28 am, Blogger Henry Crun said...

Bag, don't forget to lie. No one ever checks up on whether or not you have a degree in Medieval Astrophysics from the University of Walllamaroo.

I have a doctorate in Thermonuclear Social Anthromorphology.

At 11:42 am, Blogger Bag said...

Thanks guys.

James, The format I have been advised is similar to the way you describe and is like this. This is from three senior guys who work in the area I work in which is IT Management. My current CV is pretty close to this already but needs a lot of reformating and expansion to include my latest employment. Apparently the way you describe is the latest 'way it is done' so it is time for a revamp. I read a lot of CVs myself but not in bulk, mine are pre filtered, so I read each one fully as they all have the key words I am looking for. Looking at my own from 8 years ago, when I changed my job last, shows it's age. Computers do a lot more of the work now.

Henry, of course. My Masters in Erotic Japanese Haiku has not paid off so well as I might have expected so I should change it to something more useful. A bachelors in Exotic Mastubatory Techniques could show I was self reliant. I don't know. My IT qualifications are clearly passe and elitist in the current climate.

At 3:21 pm, Blogger Alex said...

If the person who said "leave out personal pronouns" was including the world "I" then my advice is the opposite. In the past I have been a headhunter and looked at dozens of CVs every day. One of the most annoying things was copy written in the third person or without the world "I" such as:

"A fast dynamic mover, worked in the tech and outsourcing sectors. People-focussed."

What on earth is wrong with: "I am a fast dynamic mover and I have worked in the tech..." etc

At 4:49 pm, Blogger Bag said...

Alex, Thank you. I must confess this is where people like myself who are not professional CV readers get lost. Conflicting advice. However, I have just finished updating it and I have a few 'I's dotted around. It just didnt look right without. It's now off for review and I suspect that there will be conflicting feedback. Such is life.

It's also now three pages but it reads OK so I'm happy although I have been told by someone they throw any CVs over two pages straight in the bin. Obviously I'll avoid sending my CV to him. :)

Unless you are tailoring for a specific job it seems that you will never please everyone. Just hope it pleases the right one person.

At 11:34 am, Blogger Henry Crun said...

"I have been told by someone they throw any CVs over two pages straight in the bin."

Obviously he has the attention span of a gnat and would be a total cunt to work for. You are right not to bother seding your CV to him.

At 10:02 am, Blogger Bag said...

Sdly this guy works in an agency and in a senior role. He seems to be good at his job as well.

To each their own.

At 4:29 am, Blogger UBERMOUTH said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 2:40 pm, Blogger Bag said...

Uber, Cool. I always wanted to be a hit man. That was my first choice in life when everyone else wanted to be a spaceman, pilot or train driver I planned on being an assassin.

At 2:49 pm, Blogger Bag said...

Well, I had my CV reviewed and whoopee it got a thumbs up. Of course a comment was made about it being three pages but I'm happy with it. Only point raised was that I had wasted some space on the front page with contact details, quickly moved and filled, and that the headers and footers were not liked at all.

So thank you for the advice guys.

So now I am armed with a good CV it's time to start looking around and seeing what is out there.


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