Friday, April 04, 2008

Election time has it's up sides.

I find election time frustrating. On the one hand it is a waste of time and effort and the old saying 'It doesn't matter who you vote for they always get in' rings so true nowadays. It's a bit like watching ants make a trail across your garden. You can put a few obstacles in their way but in the end unless you go on a homicidal splurge they all end up where they want to go anyway. Actually, that's probably exactly what politics is about. Anyway, elections are about as exciting as a chinese burn on your favourite organ except for one thing. I find this part of the elections to be funny. Read here about now we are approaching the local elections the politicians have worked out that the tax cuts at the budget were no such thing. Even when the blogs and MSM were saying this on budget day these guys have only detected it when it is a threat near election time. Note all the complains about the timing. If the timing was right you wouldn't have heard a thing.

As the neanderthal minds of our local politicians awaken from their deep slumber they start hearing rumblings about issues and they think 'I had better generate some good PR'

No. That sound boring. Switch to David Attenbourough voiceover

So the great liarus manipulutus awakes from it's several year long slumber and swings into action. To these relics from a time long forgotten their simple desires must be met and nothing can get in the way. The mere facts are ignored in their quest for mating and the great liarus manipulutus will not stop it's frenzied screwing for several weeks. The public will be screwed like they have not been screwed for several years. Most of the public will have forgotten the last great screwing and will become easy prey for the skills of the great liarus manipulutus. Skills unmatched anywhere else in the animal kingdom.

As they have done since politics began the great liarus manipulutus will run around from now joining protest groups and claiming that policies in place were not what they wanted. Even if that same policies was voted for by them and regardless of whether they support it or not.

This frenzy will continue until the night before the elections when it will simply stop dead. The gullible electorate usually have been fed enough to dim their minds and believe that the great liarus manipulutus is actually working for their good. Some believe there is a mystical element at work here as normally sane members of the public will be overcome by the output of the great liarus manipulutus that even after several years of stating 'I will never vote for those clowns again' they still do.

The great liarus manipulutus' great skill is to give a convincing statement that they have changed and that they understand and do better every time just no one remembers the previous times they have bent over and felt invaded by the entire group of great liarus manipulutus.

The day after the elections the minds of the great liarus manipulutus simply shut down until the next election time but in a final screw you to the public they continue to participate in policy making and working for the government where with their minds effectively asleep they screw up everything they touch.

Like all species before them the great liarus manipultus has had it's ups and downs with culls and threats over their habitats. Some believe a big cull is overdue and these magnificent creatures will be wiped out as the minds of the public finally snap. Will it happen in our lifetime? I don't know but I hope so so I can see them suffer we will see.


At 9:12 pm, Blogger Crushed said...

Winston would turn in his grave, eh?

At 2:32 am, Blogger Clyde said...

At least you are not suffering through a US Presidential campaign.
I'm just waiting for them to find the votes from another State to be faulty and get themselves another GW

At 4:05 am, Blogger UBERMOUTH said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 7:49 am, Blogger Semaj Mahgih said...

I'm starting a rumour. Bag loves Uber. Bag loves Uber. It's my immaturity morning this morning.

At 11:00 am, Blogger Bag said...

CBI, If we could harness all the rotational energy from winston and his ilk we wouldn't need any nuclear power stations at all. It would all be clean and endless energy.

James, Whilst we are still in school I seem to remember that the boys who did that all seemed to have crushes on the victims. In saying that she is a redhead and I do have a thing for redheads.

At 9:55 pm, Blogger Crushed said...

Well if he does, he needs to be careful...

She doesn't let you change your mind.


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