Bag's Rants

How long can this go on? Our Government needs to protect us.

It seems that four gunmen forced their way into a house in London and shot the five occupants. Read the story here. I won't bore you with going on about gun crime increases or the failure of our gun laws this time.

What really got me was the fact that this armed gang were fought off with kitchen utensils. Now when are we going to do something about these kitchen utensils? If they are able to fend off an armed gang then who knows what else they could be used for. It won't be long before we read about people killed by these kitchen utensils. What exactly were these kitchen utensils anyway?

We need to get some knee jerk legislation in there to ban these kitchen utensils. They are obviously dangerous bits of kit. We could set up a new national enforcement group called the Kitchen Utensil National Tactical Squad. That will describe them adequately.

No knives, forks or chopsticks. Anything with a point. However, we need a exception on kitchen utensils such as spoons used for the consumption of soup and other liquid based foods. Fingers are no good whatsoever in consuming them. Spoons with a total outer diameter of less than 15cm. Sawn off spoons or those hybrids with tines are considered knives or forks and are subject to a compulsory minimum of five years and spoons larger than 15cm are classed as ladles and need a chef's license to own. Penalty of handling a ladle without a license is five years minimum. They must also be stored in a locked cupboard when not in use. Ladles with a outer diameter of more than 30cm are reserved for Jamie Oliver and cannot be used by any others. Penalty of fifteen years minimum for this heinous crime.

Do we need to set up a protest group to save our spoons? Do we need to add owning spoons into our rights. Banning of spoons will be opposed by the Shadow Government. However, that seems to mean they vote in support of the banning. Politics! It's so confusing although maybe that's why we leave these things to the Politicians. They are true pros.

posted by Bag @ 9:45 am